TO LOVE IS TO BE LOVED
By Therese Benedict
We all want love in our lives. We all want to be loved and understood. We want people to hear our hurt, when that hurt is caused. We want each other to listen to what actions caused that hurt, so it is known and can be stopped.
What hurts us the most is when a cause is stated that it is not heard and those actions still exist. If we would hear what each other are saying and face that we hurt others, even when the intentions were not to hurt, we should accept what has been stated and say the words, “I’m sorry.” We do not want blame, we do not accept blame, and we only state how others did something to us to make us do those actions.
Listening to each other is vital, when we stop those actions of what was said so the other may heal because they know you’ve heard them. And when you hear them and stop those actions, we know we are loved because they are showing that they care. It goes both ways and it can go in all directions of relationships. It does not need to be just a partner; it can be family and friends.
Love is such a beautiful gift, when treated as such. It is when we do not cherish that love that it goes away. Then again, we carry hurt because we do not understand why we were treated that way, and why they could not listen. Life is so painful, why would we want to bring more pain and sometimes willingly? I love the love I have in my life, for the main fact, that it is the only way my family treats each other. There is no name calling or hateful acts. We have all took that love that we received and held it to our souls and loved it back. It brings us comfort, support and beauty in our lives. This family can rely on each other in times of need, in times of sadness and our happiness. We go through what we need to go through with love all around us. This is the way to live, we are happy all the time even through the hard because we know we are loved.
Love brings peace, comfort, understanding, honesty and most importantly happiness. It has changed our lives by living it right; with love. This is the gift of life, and we all throw it away like it is not a gift. Then we wonder when we are going to find it once more. If we would treat love right, love would not walk away. If we loved the love back, we would only have more to love.
When you hold love in your soul, it stays. True love comes from within, and you must find it in yourself before you can give it to others. When you live right, then you can love yourself. Know you have the love for you so you will take your freewill and change your life, as you have always wanted to do anyway.
To smile inside because we know we are good and proud of whom we have become. To look at the right when someone is standing there and give a smile and a hello. Not to look and judge and start talking about someone you do not even know. We are one family, remember?
Do not judge someone because of the way they look; wonder. If you have judgment regarding someone’s appearance, wonder and not judge. We do not like it when others judge us, so why judge them; when they feel the same way? We have so much to learn when it comes to our own actions and that is what you need to concentrate on; you.
Forgive yourself when you make a mistake and just do the right thing. If you do not know what the right thing is, think about the situation and you will know what to do. Always know that an apology comes with it. However, if you think about the situation and concentrate you will have the right words to go with the apology. An apology helps us heal, when spoken with truth and love. Love is of all a healer; however, our actions of love help us heal faster. Don’t let your loved ones suffer; protect them from hurt; instead of giving hurt. Love is everything.
Question & Answer Forum:
Q: What is the best advice to give to a new couple to ensure their love remains unconditional?
Grand Junction, Colorado
A: To learn what unconditional love involves and truly is, to understand what it takes as a couple, to learn about each other knowing that happiness and hurt will be apart of the growing process. To make boundaries and stand by those boundaries; such as, when an argument arises, do not call names and belittle someone to make a point. To learn to speak with your heart and with love under any circumstances, so they may hear what you are explaining. Doing this in this manner will only make them hear and feel where you’re coming from. For both persons to learn to face their own faults and habits and change them when they know it causes hurt. Not to demand, but to ask of each other and learn to work together in everything that is involved with your relationship. By doing this, your relationship will grow stronger and you will start to make your bond to each other special.
Q: If a friend or a family member does not live according to love, respect, and right, should I do all that is in my power for them to understand and fully comprehend the severity of their actions and aid them to see the faults and help them move past it?
A: Yes, of course. Accomplishing this can be hard; people do not want to accept what they do wrong. This is where the saying “It is the other person’s fault,” comes into action. And they are the reason for what actions they do, not thinking that they do not need to make those actions their only choice. But, by helping them see, is a beautiful experience for you and them, when they see what you are trying to say. Telling them what you see, and with truth, only makes them see what their actions are doing to their relationships and life. In speaking this truth it may not change anything because of people’s anger and freewill, but never let that stop you.
You can’t make them move past their actions, what you do is make them see their actions, so they may change their actions. Then they can move on to good instead of wrong; however, this takes a lot of redundant reminding of what their actions are causing.
Q: How can I better "Treat Love Right" and do it on a consistent basis?
A: You can start to better your actions of love by watching what you do on a consistent basis. Do not forget throughout your day that you are watching everything you do. See what you want to change, this way it is your doing and no one else telling you; believe it or not this makes you more willing and a better chance of success. The main thing is that you do not want to be picking parts of your life to do this; you want to apply it to your whole life and not parts. In doing this you become all of you and not some of you. We all know that we carry good inside, but if we have to dig deep to see it; then you know you can do better. Believe in yourself and do it with loving you and that is how you treat love right; then you can give this to others.
Copyright © 2010, by Therese Benedict