TO BE WHO YOU ARE MEANT TO BE
By Therese Benedict
We tend to think that just because we have freewill that we can be whom we want to be, instead of being who we are meant to be. This is a wrong way to think about whom we are and what is the reason of why we are here. God has created us with him within us, and what we do is change that. We forget who has created us and who lies within our soul.
We think that it is our decision of whom we become and not who we are, which has already been created. We feel the good in our souls; however, we do not live what lives in our true self. God understands that it takes strength to live of life of right and love because it is so easy to live the wrong. It seems that we think that living a life of wrong is more fun and living a life of right is boring. This is not true at all and never will be; living a life of right is the best feeling in the world. To have fun of being who you are and to remember those fun times because you were not in a condition of not remembering what happened. Living a life of right does not mean you do not have fun in life, it means you have fun without hurting others and over doing pleasures of life. That is all, but yet we think if we have to be a good boy or girl that there is no life fun involved.
When there is times in our lives that we need a hand to hold, we walk around thinking that there is no hand to hold. Do you know why we feel this way? It is because there is so little hope of someone truly understanding what we are going through because there is so much judgment in this life that we are afraid to speak. To not wanting to hear the negative responses we hear and pray for positive.
We think that it is always the other person’s fault of why things are not happy and refuse to think that we have a part in it. What needs to be done is to think of our part and turn that part around to good. To see our own faults’ that belong to us and not keep thinking, “Well if they stop doing that, then I will stop.” No one is perfect. I hear it all the time, “It is their fault, I am not doing anything to make this relationship bad it is all his/her fault,” and then they do nothing to help. Or I hear, “Well I didn’t do that to them and I am not going to fix them,” this is where it is hard not to get angry.
We all have issues from our past that have affected our lives, and to hear that comment in a relationship is very unnerving. No one asked them to fix them, the question is, “Are you going to help them get through it?” To have understanding of why that pain is there in the first place and to listen to the person of why it lies in their soul. So they can understand when they do something in a similar nature, they know why the other person gets so upset.
I’ve even gotten the blame from someone who’s made this comment, “I didn’t do that to him and I am not going to fix him,” when it wasn’t even me who caused the pain in his heart and I was told it was my fault. When in reality I was the one who stood up for him and did something so that it would be taken out of his life. People just don’t understand what is truly involved in a loving relationship; they just expect others to get over it because they won’t put up with it. But yet, expects the other person to put up with the negative attitude of no understanding and no compassion.
I have heard this and with the view of seeing the other person making those comments and them not seeing what they need to change themselves – to the point that I cannot say anything to this person because they are thinking they don’t do anything wrong. This is what makes a part of this life so sad. To see the people around you that do not want to see their wrongs but have no problems seeing others’ wrongs.
In a relationship we should be all we are and give all we have to the ones we love. But yet, to others they only give what they want to give, thinking that is enough. To wait for the other person to stop before we stop. Doing this in this manner, will never make a relationship work it will only create more hard times ahead. Be all of who you are and give everything you have, even if you are not sure of what everything is. This is where we can learn so much more about ourselves and others.
Learn about yourself and of whom you know that lays dormant inside your soul and act on it. Yes, you will stumble and fall, but those stumbles and falls mean everything to growth. To learn of our wrongs and what we need from others, which in return helps you help others. It can be a beautiful experience, only if you let it be beautiful and not hateful in your learning.
Giving up is the easy way, but when we wish for our dreams, it takes important steps and learning to get to our dreams. We just can’t wait for our dreams to fall from the sky, we have to reach for the sky to touch our dreams that we work so hard to get. When you work hard to get your dreams, you feel amazement once you reach your true desire and knowing that dreams do come true with hard work and a true hearts desire.
Dreams come true for those who have deserved them and not just waiting for them to come their way. You have to do the right things to get what you are reaching out for and not expect them to be brought to you from someone else. Don’t wait for someone else to bring you your dreams, go out and fight for your dreams knowing that it will take time but with success in the end.
Be who you are meant to be and give everything to living of that person you know that lies inside you that is good to you and to others. Love yourself and give that love to others, so they may learn that they can do the same as well. To have people look at you with admiration and the desire to be good like you and to want to give them the love you desire back. When you show others the love you want by giving it to them, they learn how to love and to give that love back with love in their hearts. This takes time but it works. It may not work with all, so you can’t give up on the ones who will take your love and not return it back to you. Don’t judge them, just help them to understand.
There are reasons why people are so afraid to open that door to taking the risk of loving. Rejection and hurt are usually the cause of them fighting to open that door. But when they see that the door is safe to open, they begin to open that door and peak inside. To let them feel the love little-by-little and to take that risk of loving and to want to give everything even with the risk of hurt involved. Being all of you helps others, even when you don’t see it. Don’t watch with judgment to see if they are getting it and do not give up so they see it. To do this with understanding and commitment and to never give up on your loved ones or your relationship unless you know that the relationship is not meant for you.
Trust in you and trust in them, knowing that time will heal them and to stand by your loved one’s without thinking your fixing someone else’s mistake. You need to take someone else’s pain and to let them know that you will not give them the same pain. And to know that there are reasons for anger and fear and not think just because they have past pain that you do not cause them pain yourself.
Be all of you, so others may be all of them. They will only love you all the more for the gift you have given them. This is what bonds relationships together with love and trust, knowing that you will get through everything together and grow stronger with love which will last a life time.
Question & Answer Forum:
Q: What if you truly want to move on and live a life of right and eventually live a life where your friends and families can look upon your life with admiration and happiness, but those thoughts are thwarted by addictive behaviors?
Wayne C.
A: When you live a life of right, your family and friends will look upon you with admiration. It will also make them think that they want to do the same as you because they see your happiness. It may even help them to see their addictive behaviors and want to actually do something about it and face it because they are unhappy with their own actions and the outcomes. However, it is by your words that help them see clearer and help them to see that happiness does come from changing themselves. Moreover, you showed them that it is possible because you have done it and they see the beautiful results.
Q: I want to learn more about myself and others... As I mature and have had accumulated some experiences in life, How can I again learn to give my all and be all I can be in new or current relationship(s) and situations?
Girard D.
A: When you learn more about you, is when you see more in others. It might not make sense now, but it will. You have to give all to yourself, so you can give all to others. However, you need to give time to just yourself so you can give you your all and to change issues with yourself and the things you want to change in your life. This is the first step before you can give it to others, including relationships, family, friends and situations. When you take action in making changes in your life, is when your life changes. When you take charge of who you are, is when you become the person you know lies inside your soul, by standing up for yourself in respectful ways of disagreeing in someone’s wrong actions and to be able to state why you won’t do those wrong acts yourself. For the main reason, you don’t want to be that person of wrong anymore; you want to be the person of good that you fought so hard to achieve.
Therese Benedict
Copyright © 2010, by Therese Benedict
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